Coaching is a solid step forward, with a trained, objective, real human being. A coach doesn’t have anything invested in how you “should” change or whether it is going to affect me. And a coach can tell you the truth or set you homework in a way that might not work for your current friendships. Sometimes your friends can’t help, because they are stuck in the same way. Sometimes they just don’t have the resources or time or experience to help you.

Sometimes, when you let yourself get still enough, you know they aren’t really the best people to hear you out or cheer for you from the sidelines.

My philosophy at the moment (and wow, it’s working for me)

There are a few simple things I have learned:

  • you don’t have to believe your own thoughts
  • happiness is a choice
  • other people’s opinions of you is none of your business
  • pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional
  • and there is no better place to be than in the present.

So what do we do in a coaching session?

Using the understanding we have of the brain and neural pathways, we’ll try out exercises that sound like “play” and feel like work, in a good way like something is getting done.

I am here to challenge and tease your current thinking, to push you to feel and lean into your own truths, and to be here as a crucible for you to experiment/trial your new ideas and test drive your new behaviours, trying them on for fit. Some of them will fit like a new favourite outfit and others will have to be tailored or walked in, or rejected. Other new habits will have that annoying lack of fit that teeny tiny designer outfits have you know the kind that are designed for the coat hanger and not meant for humans at all.

I: care about you, but not about your results. At first glance, that might sound harsh or confusing or contradictory, but let me explain… I truly believe in loving what is. As it is. Even when something or someone seems challenging or awful 1) judging it/them harshly is not going to soften it away, and 2) every situation has seeds of a lesson or is the foundation for what unfolds next. Who can say whether that is good or bad then. Buddha (perfect sky)

Coaching: It’s not just “a chat with a friend” bit there is a kid-gloves version or the iron fist version. And we’ll work together in the way that’s best for you. How will we know what that is? Easy you’ll tell me! And you are welcome and encouraged to change, anytime.

You: recognise some issues and patterns. You’ve done some work on and lots of thinking about them (in fact you might even say that you are one of those people that think too much!) and you just can’t honestly say that you’ve shifted them like you would want to. Getting a coach can speed up that process, shift the demons away… shield you or stand with you as you face them, without judgement, show you the areas behind your blind spots so you aren’t alone when you finally look into them. Reflect objectively in a way a friend might not be willing or trained to do. And a coach will hold you as accountable as you want to be held accountable. The way that you would hold yourself accountable if the horrible critical voice wasn’t part of the deal. I will also help you to recognise and celebrate your successes and achievements, every step, no matter how small it might feel.

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.
Joseph Campbell