Doing things for your tomorrow-self

I’ve been playing with this idea for the last few days now, and it seems to have been helpful, so I want to explore it here.

A few days ago I was talking to my lovely friend when she asked my advice:

“Cath, should I go and buy some food now, or go home and make something out of the very last food in the house? It leaves me with NOTHING for tomorrow and then I will absolutely have to go shopping.”

“Well….. “, I began, and this is when the idea struck.

Tell me where I am wrong – many of us are people-pleasers to some extent. (where “some” can occasionally be shorthand for “ENORMOUS”).

If you were shopping as a favour for a stressed or tired friend, wouldn’t you go out even if it were a little inconvenient? even if you maybe didn’t think that it was a great deal of fun right now?

Because it would be nice to know that you had helped out someone, right? And you know that there will be a ray of caring that you’ve shone into someone else’s life.

“Well… what if you do the shopping TODAY for your tomorrow-self?”

Tomorrow-self? I think that me today, and me tomorrow are kindof different people. Me today is tired and hungry and I don’t even know what tomorrow is going to be like. But knowing yourself as you do, wouldn’t it be marvelous if someone had done you EXACTLY the favour that you most needed?

Today-you can be that someone. Another friend, struck by the idea, realised that the thing she was putting off was cleaning the bathroom. With a party on the next day, getting everything ready and doing that sort of cleaning would be stressful to her Tomorrow-self. While the advice sounds a bit weird, she decided to do the cleaning as a favour to herself.

And the next day, knowing that someone had already cleaned the bathroom was wonderful. Not even the most wonderful partner in the world could have known that the best gift at that time was to clean the bathroom. But she knows this for herself.

So, just to summarise: your today-self can be the person that does a something lovely for your tomorrow-self. You get all the joy of doing a friend a favour AND you get to be the person that gets exactly the most necessary chore done for them!

Just tell me if this makes sense? and try it out… I hope I’ve explained what I meant here. If you have any additional comments or suggestions I would love to hear them!

Caring arms support and take you forward. What if they were your own?

5 comments

  1. Gillian Scott

    Just what I needed.

  2. Marianne Brokjøb

    Thank you!!! Sorted out all my bills and papers today so tomorrow I’ll wake up to a no-stress Saturday morning. How wonderful is that :-)

  3. Oh! that is so inspiring! I got home today and instead of just dropping my bag on the floor I thought “Oh, my tomorrow-self will so thank me for knowing where the keys are” and now they’re nicely put away :)

  4. What an awesome awesome piece! My half-and-hour from now self will be so pleased when my now self has made some food. I will go do this and not only that. Instead of just making a scruffy piece of toast, I will go make myself something awesome, as if I had made it for my dearest friend (which I think is me).

  5. One step further. Psychologists reckon we love and fall in love with people we do stuff for. Our brains tell us that we would not do it for someone not worth while, so we convince ourselves that the other person must be awesome. Simply m…aking coffee for someone else, brings you closer to liking him or her, while having people constantly doing things for you, make you feel superior (well duh) and can turn your affection away from them. So… doing stuff for future self, should help you like her more too. She must be rather amazing for you to stand here scrubbing pots for her, after all.

    This could be a good method of getting rid of low self esteem.

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